Chronicle of Idiocy

Now playing

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 02:09:36 GMT

This music is SO FUCKING AWESOME.

Stillsuits

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 01:29:57 GMT

According to this, sweat, urine, and breath moisture should be able to be recycled into drinking water. These things, especially the part about "breath moisture," are strongly reminiscent of the Dune series, but unfortunately I think we are not quite ready for shouts of "I will take your water for the tribe" or anything of the sort. A pity--that might be kind of fun.

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 04:51:00 GMT

(Taken from someone who knows bettter jokes than me)

How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two -- one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven -- one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.

How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb? None -- Hanover doesn't have electricity.

How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two -- One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seventy-six -- one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb? None -- New Haven looks better in the dark.

How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One -- he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

The greatest feeling in the world

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 19:45:25 GMT

Is when you wake up feeling quite dead at 7:15 in the morning and slowly realize it's Saturday and you don't have to get up. Glee!

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 20:45:09 GMT

Damn, used the wrong info for my GTA order. Another 3-5 day wait.

San Andreas

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 05:45:40 GMT

I await the shipment of the fantastically hyped Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. And the inevitable gory, brutal doom of my puny productivity.

How the hell should I know?

Sat, 16 Oct 2004 02:58:36 GMT

I feel I don't ever have much to whine about. Nor am I a skilled whiner. Naturally, this precludes me from posting much here. Eh.

I'm kind of anxious about college. Hopefully I'll get in where I want (early decision) and get myself killed by annoyed people who don't want to hear me gloat anymore. Well, if that's the case, then I guess there's nothing to worry about, since all the outcomes suck anyways. Seriously, though, I am looking forward to it. High school really sucks right now, but at least there's only three hours a day of it for me. Hell, people might kill me over that too.

Do you want a dollar, Mr. Flatscreen Monitor? Of course you do.

My application, of course, is not quite finished. I still have to send in my audition tape as a supplement, which obviously requires I be able to make an audition tape. I guess I'll go practice now.

Bad ads

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 03:38:05 GMT

A comprehensively incomplete list of my personal most hated ad campaigns:

5. The first "feel good fashion" ad from Old Navy. You know, the one with the kid who's supposed to mow the lawn. Oddly enough, the others aren't that bad. Eh.
4. Miller Lite for President of Beers. Most obnoxious 'candidate' ever.
3. "Zoom zoom zoom!"
2. Any AOL commercial. As an aside, these are the only ads that drive me into a blind rage. I lose all control. Flip out. Seriously.
1. Any "I'm lovin' it" ad by McDonalds...and they keep getting worse as time goes on.

To be modified as I remember more that annoy me.

gone, somewhat

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 22:01:34 GMT

I'm now using a xanga I created over a year ago. Some of the time. So some stuff will be here, and some will be there.
For no reason I can think of.

Sick?

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 01:31:45 GMT

Being sick sucks. I've been feeling lousy since last Thursday, and I'm mostly better but still have a nasty cough. Yesterday was particularly bad; started feeling better then got a completely unrelated earache, which led to a doctor shooting lots of water and putting sharp stuff in my ears. And a blood test, which didn't really give any useful information, except that I could have either a bacterial or a viral infection.
..Wow.

Blargh

Wed, 25 Aug 2004 20:59:12 GMT

College classes start today. Number theory and probability, should be pretty easy, but damn, am I tired. Ugh.

School, or not

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 19:05:32 GMT

04-05 schedule:

0 - Eco/Gov
1 - English IV
2 - Latin IV
3 - [excused]
4 - [excused]
5 - [excused]
6 - [excused]
7 - [excused]

Yum.

An addiction a day

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 15:19:18 GMT

Recently started playing a little turn-based online rpg, Kingdom of Loathing...This one's particularly good. The art looks like it's been drawn by me and the humor is perfect - a mix between Monty Python and something. Its worth a try.

Food!

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 05:20:43 GMT

Mmmmmmm...Houston's...

It's back

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 07:02:27 GMT

Been a while since I wrote in this; alternatively, it's been a while since I've been this bored. Whatever.
Came back from Sicily a week ago, which was interesting. The language I spoke most often there was, surprisingly enough, Chinese. More importantly, everyone in this country should cook steak like the Italians do. Food is, after all, one of the few things that's worth living for in its own right. That's probably not a good idea, though.

AP scores are in:
US History - 5
English 3 - 5
Compsci AB - 5
Physics C - 5 on mechanics, 5 on e&m

I can't really complain.

Irony of the day

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 00:42:35 GMT

Today I saw...a Mazda 626 with license plate _ _ _ W R X

I've got to go north

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 23:07:53 GMT

At the bus stop one fine morning in Texas. About 40 degrees Fahrenheit, most likely. Wearing a t-shirt. Suddenly I hear some sort of sniveling noise...it's from the girl behind me, who is evidently freezing. The same sort of thing is happening to everyone else. People wearing about three layers of clothing. It's sad. Really sad. I also thought of something better to write down than this at the time.

Applying to RSI...don't have a ghost of a chance. Oh well.

Stupidity is everywhere

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 02:08:49 GMT

Everywhere I look, I am astounded by surpassingly blatant instances of sublime cretinism. Unfortunately, a large part of these moronic occurences are completely my fault. Take, for example, an interesting occurance at a gas station last week. Anyways, while doing what one does at a gas station, I grabbed the pump on the left, since every gas station I've been to in my entire life has had the cheap, "unleaded" gas on the left. Not so these bastards. After looking at the $1.71 price in complete confusion and resignation for about 10 gallons, I finally realized what had happened, too late to save myself.

Jeeebus, I'm stupid.

A comedic goldmine

Fri, 09 Jan 2004 05:12:04 GMT

I've actually had time to watch Letterman as of late(so infinitely superior to Leno, but that's another story). Anyways, I've come to the conclusion the the "Late Show Unfair Video Edit" is, in fact, the greatest thing that has ever happened. It transcends duct tape, Final Fantasy, and all of mathematics. Seriously. Go watch it.

Profession of perpetual motion

Wed, 07 Jan 2004 04:25:02 GMT

Historians are true geniuses. Granted, they never do anything exciting or important, and their subject is (usually) dull, and at best moderately interesting. But the amazing feat they have managed is to continue their profession, especially with as many of them as there are. Since we don't have absolutely concrete records, all they need to do is come up with plausible theses for events and introduce new ones every once in a while. Nothing is really being done, but they can keep their jobs by continually arguing with each other. They make a living from nothing. Whee.

Why? Why? Why?

Tue, 16 Dec 2003 04:33:56 GMT

I hate Java. Everything about it. It's slow. The whole SDK/JRE/JVM/WHA/TEV/ERT/HEF/UCK/ALL/THI/SSH/ITI/ISA/BOUT crap makes absolutely no sense. It's like they try to piss you off. Arrrrrrggghh. Well, I think teachers are supposed to un-confuse you. Mine doesn't, so I'm screwed ("I left my notes somewhere! I can't help you because..well..I can't!")

Meeefffpfphjahnoaneosdf,.
dfa.

Not quite efficiency

Fri, 05 Dec 2003 23:53:57 GMT

So I volunteer at this library on fridays. I shouldn't be doing that. It really sucks. I mean, if you had a few free hours where you could be free of idiots, would you choose to spend them around hopelessly boring and annoying idiots? Of course not. See, they tell me that before I came around, books started to pile up on the floor because they got so far behind. Maybe because no matter what they do to "work" the one constant is this: they will not shelve books. If you are not doing any work, they will tell you to take a list of overdue books and make sure they are not on the shelves. Er, actually, they do that regardless of whether or not you're doing something. But this is one of the most completely pointless instances of utter and hopeless moronism I've ever seen. Why bother doing it? It wouldn't be necessary if they weren't incompetent checking books in, it isn't necessary because the books are never on the shelves anyways, and it's so pathetically inefficient one really has to wonder how the hell anything works around there at all. The patrons aren't much better. People come up to you to check things in. Gosh, and I suppose I'll never know why there's a drop box. There's a self checkout with PICTORIAL instructions and I have to show people how it works. Yeesh. I had more disparaging things to say about the people there and their pointless, mundane, boring gossip and lives (whoops, gossip appears to -be- their lives. My bad) but I forgot it all, and I'd have to go near them again to remember. And why would I do that?

But that's been seven or eight hours ago, and I'll only have to do it once more in my life. Hooray.

w00t!!

Wed, 19 Nov 2003 04:57:24 GMT

I play DDR. Most sane people would edit that to say "..play way too much DDR."
Now, regardless of *ahem* criticism, here is the DDR achievement of the century*.

<--

*by "century" I mean "my life"

When I update this, the arrow will no longer be aligned with the pic. boo hoo.

stupid haiku of the day

Mon, 17 Nov 2003 03:26:50 GMT

Free verse is real cool
because you are not tied to
any real structure

Enlightened at last

Wed, 12 Nov 2003 22:30:33 GMT

I have peace of mind at last. No more worrying about insignificant thing, no more self-pitying whining. The ironic thing is that I come across this peace of mind only because I'm too fucking tired to think about anything. So now I'm relaxed. Maybe I'm on to something here. Then again, the only people without problems are dead.

Warg.